i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
