my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
