I seem to have left my pride at pride
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
