Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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