Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
