some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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