I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
