Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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