I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
