i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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