Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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