We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
