i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
