I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
