apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
love makes seman taste better
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
