He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
