you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize