How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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