I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
