the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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