That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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