before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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