So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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