Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
