If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
