Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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