Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
