he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just gift wrapped bread.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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