yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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