I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
