We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
