I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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