last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
