i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize