I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
