if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i think my cat just said my name.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize