Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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