I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
