I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
