Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
