My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
