is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
