it wasn't lemon gatorade
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
