I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize