Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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