you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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