If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
