my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize