Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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