Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
