just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
