she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dignity is for republicans.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
