he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
