I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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