i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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