Moan for me like Helen Keller
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
