Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
