Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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