A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
