Umm I'm too high to move.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
