I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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