I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
