he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
