I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
