I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
