Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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