I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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