Will you blow on my dice?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
