She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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