There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
